


Uncomfortable Silences (And Things Better Left Unsaid)

by onetrueobligation



Series: What Mija Didn't See [2]
Category: Okja (2017)
Genre: Serious Injuries, ugly crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 20:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11654325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetrueobligation/pseuds/onetrueobligation
Summary: The things said - and unsaid - while Mija was asleep in the truck.





	Uncomfortable Silences (And Things Better Left Unsaid)

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of backstory to this - I loved the movie so much I invited a few friends over to watch it, and one of them pointed out that Jay had a strange affection towards Mija. We decided it was "brotherly love", and I decided to build on why that might be.

Jay placed Mija in the back of the truck as delicately as he could. She was badly hurt, and, examining her wounds, his breath caught. If she was killed, he’d never forgive himself.

‘You okay?’ said a voice from the driver’s seat. Jay, who until then hadn’t paid the driver any notice at all, turned around and a grateful smile found its place on his lips.

‘K,’ he breathed weakly. Only then did he realise how badly he was wounded. His would-be captors had had time to deliver quite a few damaging blows before he’d escaped. He was fairly sure at least one of his ribs was broken. ‘What are you doing-’ He felt the breath leave his lungs abruptly and crumpled against the passenger seat awkwardly.

K rolled up his sleeve to reveal to Jay his newest tattoo. _Translations are sacred._

Jay would have laughed if he had the energy. Instead, he merely spluttered out ‘Okja’ and patted K on the back, knowing K would understand. ‘We need to hurry.’

K always understood.

Jay blacked out.

 

* * *

 

 

He woke up to incredible pain. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a blinding light and closed them again quickly. As he regained awareness, he realised someone – _someone_ – was stitching his head wounds. No anaesthetic. The sky was darker outside than he remembered. He scrunched his eyes tight and bit his fingers to stop himself crying out.

Within another minute, he blacked out for the second time.

 

* * *

 

 

When he awoke, whoever had been doing the stitches was gone. He looked over immediately at Mija and was relieved to see she’d been cleaned up a little, too. He forced himself up. K noticed the movement and glanced at him for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. ‘How are you feeling?’

Jay groaned. ‘Better, I guess.’ Once again, his eyes drifted to Mija. ‘How is she?’

‘I got someone in to stitch you two up a bit. I don’t know if she knew what she was doing, but at least you’re not bleeding out anymore.’

Jay said nothing and continued staring at the girl. _A girl._

Jay had agreed to this. So had K. Every single one of them had known what they were getting themselves into – except Mija. They knew the dangers. They knew the horrors they’d see. They knew they could be arrested at any moment.

But Mija?

Mija had just wanted to take Okja back to the mountains. The resentment he’d felt for K rose in his chest once again.

 _It’s my fault,_ a part of him said. _I shouldn’t have made out the mission to be so important. If I hadn’t, K wouldn’t have lied._

‘You really care about her, don’t you?’ K said quietly.

Jay turned around to him with wide eyes. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I know, I know, you “hold all creatures dear to your heart” or whatever,’ K said, waving his hand vaguely. ‘But, with her… you look at her like she’s your child. Like you’d do anything for her. Like she’s your world.’

Jay said nothing.

‘I saw you,’ K said after a pause. ‘Today, up on the stage. I saw how you wouldn’t let Mija look at the recording.’

‘And?’

‘And I saw what you did when Okja… _attacked_ her,’ K said, speaking quickly as though afraid Jay would shut him down. ‘You were ready to kill Okja, just to save _her._ What happened to the whole animals-before-humans credo?’

‘I never said animals come before humans-’

‘Yeah, but you thought it,’ K said. ‘We all thought it. We thought that was what we stood for. You’ve changed, Jay. Admit it.’

The pain in Jay’s head seemed to grow stronger. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘So you admit, something’s different,’ K prompted. ‘Come on, Jay. Seriously. Whatever it is, it’s safe between you and me.’

There was a pause that seemed to last forever, where the only sound was the sound of the engine and Jay’s ragged breathing. Then –

‘I had a sister once.’

K nearly crashed the truck. ‘What?’

Jay _never_ opened up about his personal life, and he insisted no one else did, either. None of them knew each other’s real names, or where they used to live, or who their families were, or anything about each other. If any of them were arrested, it was best to know nothing about their fellow ALF members. And yet, here Jay was, opening up for the first time about his family.

‘Her name was… Mikaela,’ Jay continued, and he drew the name out. It was unfamiliar on his lips; he didn’t say it often. ‘She was five years younger than me. We loved her. We… we really, really loved her.’

K felt his heart shatter a little at the tone of Jay’s voice.

‘She was… I don’t know. Dark hair, pale skin, glittering eyes.’ Jay groaned again as the truck lurched and he almost fell on his side. As a reflex, K reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back up. Jay shivered. ‘Thanks.’

‘Keep going,’ K said, turning his eyes back to the road. ‘What happened?’

Jay’s smiled his sad smile again. ‘She got sick. The whole family was in a panic. The hospital… they did all they could. But…’

His voice suddenly broke and Jay momentarily dissolved into sobs. Tears mixed with blood and he was in such a bad state that K considered pulling over the truck to clean him up. But eventually, Jay wiped his face on his sleeve and gathered himself.

‘When I look at her,’ he said softly, glancing at Mija, ‘I see my sister. She was fourteen when she…’

‘Don’t start crying again. Please,’ K said, smirking slightly. Jay laughed, but they both knew it was forced.

‘Listen,’ Jay said solemnly, turning back to K. ‘I never apologised for what I-’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ K said quickly. Too quickly, it seemed to Jay. ‘It’s fine.’

‘No. I shouldn’t have done it. You didn’t deserve it.’

He reached out to touch K’s arm, and immediately, K flinched and lurched back. Jay withdrew his hand immediately, mouth slightly open as he stared at his friend.

‘I-’ What could he say? ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘I told you, it’s fine,’ K insisted. ‘I just… it’s a reflex.’

‘I hurt you,’ Jay said, nodding his head vigorously. ‘I hurt you, I could have killed you. I _scarred_ you.’

‘If you keep apologising, I swear to God, I will throw you out of this truck right now.’

‘Sorry,’ Jay said automatically.

K stared at him. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry about your sister. I’m… I’m sorry about lying to you.’

‘Hey. It’s okay.’ Jay began to feel light-headed and wondered if he’d pass out again. ‘I… Maybe we can agree that we’re both sorry.’

‘And that’s okay,’ K added.

There was another long silence, and K was really starting to miss the sound of Red’s voice. Of Blond’s. Of Silver’s. Where were they now? Who would help them?

‘You know, there’s a good chance we’re not going to walk out of this free men,’ K said, mostly to break the silence.

‘I know.’

‘Are you going to tell her that?’

Jay cast his eyes over Mija’s sleeping body. ‘I… no. We’re going to save Okja.’

‘Right,’ K said. ‘You know, you can’t keep lying to her foreve-’

‘She’s awake!’

Jay reached over and gripped Mija’s hand tightly in his. Her eyes flickered open. ‘Mija,’ he said, hoping she would understand. ‘Are you okay?’

She said something in Korean and Jay looked to K for a translation.

‘She wants to know where we’re going,’ K supplied, voice breaking slightly.

Jay hesitated before he replied. If he could, he would lie, but that would go against everything he’d ever stood for. Meeting her eye, he smiled sadly. ‘We’re going to Okja.’

‘Okja?’ Mija repeated, the only word she’d picked up.

Jay looked to K again, this time for support, but K’s eyes revealed nothing. Jay was in this one alone. He fumbled with his hands. ‘Yes, but… you should know the situation is not good.’

Mija said something again, and Jay felt a lump rise in his throat and tears burn behind his eyes. ‘I didn’t…’ he choked. ‘There is no other way,’ he said finally, justifying it more to himself than anyone else. He turned to glance through the windscreen, and as he did, he realised they’d arrived. He sighed deeply.

‘I wish you didn’t have to see this.’

 


End file.
